The relationship you have with yourself is the longest relationship you will always have so cherish it. I believe a huge component of self-love is the ability to be alone with yourself. I absolutely love the thought of showing up for yourself. Often times we wait for a special occasion to dress up or we wait until we have a date to check-out the new restaurant in town. Sadly sometimes we spend more time waiting than living. While I don’t think there’s anything wrong with companionship I do believe it’s not smart to place your life on hold. Instead I suggest dating yourself, taking yourself to those nice restaurants that you’ve really wanted to try and request a window seat. Go see that new movie you’ve really wanted to see. Visit that quaint little coffee shop that serves the best latte’s you’ve ever tried. Drive a couple hours to visit your local winery and learn about wine pairing. Buying yourself a beautiful bouquet of roses just because you cherish yourself. Stop waiting and start living.

I believe that having solo date’s are essential for every woman it doesn’t matter if you’re single or married ( you’re single until you’re married). However, creating time to fully divulge in the things that interest you can build your self-confidence. You aren’t putting your life on hold for the perfect companion or waiting on someone else. Your life isn’t revolving around someone else and you aren’t externalizing the things that genuinely interest you in hopes that someone will join you. I believe the most attractive women are those who have their own life, interests and hobbies. Who are you without your husband, boyfriend or fiance? In 2022 I set a goal to challenge myself to trying new things, I went to museums, botanical gardens, I tried pilates, took solo afternoon dates to the movies, I started different diy projects, painted, started skating again, hiked a volcano. The point is I’m always immersing myself in life, either alone or with my husband but if he’s unavailable or simply not interested I have a life. 

There’s a story of how Oshun the African Goddess of love, water, sensuality and femininity lured Ogun the God of civilization, iron, and technology from the forest. Ogun grew tired of the world and the demands of civilization and retreated to the forrest and because he was the God of technology and blacksmith the world stopped. One by one, all of the Goddess went to the forrest to reason with Ogun to return back to civilization but he would simply chase them out of the forrest. So finally Oshun went into the forrest, she didn’t reason or even approach Ogun instead she went into the lake and started to sing softly while dancing. Ogun saw Oshun in the lake singing and dancing in her own world and was intrigued. He walked closer and closer to Oshun until he was finally face to face with the Goddess. Oshun still didn’t try to reason with Ogun instead she dipped her finger in her honeypot that she wore around her waist and smeared the honey on Ogun’s lips. Ogun returned to civilization and all was well again in the kingdom. Although this story is considered African Mythology we can learn from Oshun, she didn’t try to reason logically with Ogun but she stayed in her domain which was water, sensuality and femininity and allowed her energy to draw him near. She had a life, filled with interests and hobbies that she was wildly passionate about. There’s nothing more attractive than seeing a woman in her element, especially when she’s passionate and excited about it. So I challenge you to take out time to find hobbies, places, or things that ignite your passion.

xoxo Alishia