-
women are the prize
He who finds a wife, finds a good thing. There’s an age old debate regarding who is the prize in society on social media. The rise of femininity introduced a old way of thinking to modern women. It taught women their true divine essence and soft power. Many femininity guru’s token the phrase “you are the prize” as an empowerment mechanism to encourage women to embrace their divinity. As femininity is the complementary energy to masculinity. However, some men felt triggered by this token phrase and questioned why women were the prize when men were the providers and protectors of women. So naturally as women who were learning to embrace our feminine energy we tapped into our collaborative energy and allowed men to have that “space” as well (do you want to be right or happy). As we realize that men are naturally competitive and as soft feminine women, we don’t debate.
know thyself However, as I sit and think about why women were initially taught that they were the prize it was never to belittle our counterparts. In fact only a WINNER wins a prize. So what if we change the narrative to “women are the prize and men are the winners”. With this being said not every man is a winner and not every woman is a prize. Being a prize come’s with a deep sense of knowing your value to your man. God create us as an helpmeet, and society has lied to many women as a result we find more single depressed women. Leaning into your feminine energy and being with a man who is a winner will require a different mindset, not one of self-entitlement but feminine energy. It’s also important that we note that no matter how feminine a woman is there are some men who are misogynistic and believe a woman should earn, work or compete for him. They moan and complain about how men are expected to work and toil to achieve while women are expected just to be. Although “being” is feminine energy, when Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden tree God cursed men to hard work and labor and women to childbirth and labor. Rarely ever do you hear women complaining about men not working and toiling to bear a child. However, men are entitled to their perspective and as feminine women we do not try to appeal to a man’s logic or reason. We create pleasurable experiences in which they can only feel why God create us as the prize.
xoxo
Alishia
-
why you should date yourself
The relationship you have with yourself is the longest relationship you will always have so cherish it. I believe a huge component of self-love is the ability to be alone with yourself. I absolutely love the thought of showing up for yourself. Often times we wait for a special occasion to dress up or we wait until we have a date to check-out the new restaurant in town. Sadly sometimes we spend more time waiting than living. While I don’t think there’s anything wrong with companionship I do believe it’s not smart to place your life on hold. Instead I suggest dating yourself, taking yourself to those nice restaurants that you’ve really wanted to try and request a window seat. Go see that new movie you’ve really wanted to see. Visit that quaint little coffee shop that serves the best latte’s you’ve ever tried. Drive a couple hours to visit your local winery and learn about wine pairing. Buying yourself a beautiful bouquet of roses just because you cherish yourself. Stop waiting and start living.
Solo date to Alice and Wonderland Exhibit I believe that having solo date’s are essential for every woman it doesn’t matter if you’re single or married ( you’re single until you’re married). However, creating time to fully divulge in the things that interest you can build your self-confidence. You aren’t putting your life on hold for the perfect companion or waiting on someone else. Your life isn’t revolving around someone else and you aren’t externalizing the things that genuinely interest you in hopes that someone will join you. I believe the most attractive women are those who have their own life, interests and hobbies. Who are you without your husband, boyfriend or fiance? In 2022 I set a goal to challenge myself to trying new things, I went to museums, botanical gardens, I tried pilates, took solo afternoon dates to the movies, I started different diy projects, painted, started skating again, hiked a volcano. The point is I’m always immersing myself in life, either alone or with my husband but if he’s unavailable or simply not interested I have a life.
Oshun There’s a story of how Oshun the African Goddess of love, water, sensuality and femininity lured Ogun the God of civilization, iron, and technology from the forest. Ogun grew tired of the world and the demands of civilization and retreated to the forrest and because he was the God of technology and blacksmith the world stopped. One by one, all of the Goddess went to the forrest to reason with Ogun to return back to civilization but he would simply chase them out of the forrest. So finally Oshun went into the forrest, she didn’t reason or even approach Ogun instead she went into the lake and started to sing softly while dancing. Ogun saw Oshun in the lake singing and dancing in her own world and was intrigued. He walked closer and closer to Oshun until he was finally face to face with the Goddess. Oshun still didn’t try to reason with Ogun instead she dipped her finger in her honeypot that she wore around her waist and smeared the honey on Ogun’s lips. Ogun returned to civilization and all was well again in the kingdom. Although this story is considered African Mythology we can learn from Oshun, she didn’t try to reason logically with Ogun but she stayed in her domain which was water, sensuality and femininity and allowed her energy to draw him near. She had a life, filled with interests and hobbies that she was wildly passionate about. There’s nothing more attractive than seeing a woman in her element, especially when she’s passionate and excited about it. So I challenge you to take out time to find hobbies, places, or things that ignite your passion.
xoxo Alishia
-
the rise of femininty
If you’ve been on social media lately, you may have noticed the rise of femininity or soft life. More and more black women are navigating the idea of a soft feminine life. This concept of learning about the divine feminine energy and tapping into your soft power has become a phenomenon to women. So why the rise of femininity, I think most women are just tired. Tired of carrying the load and feeling out of sync with our natural self. Tired of the burn-out and the hustle culture. When you operate in your divine feminine you allow yourself to rest. You allow yourself to move at a slower pace. You realize that hustle culture #teamnosleep is a trap. More and more black women are realizing that they’ve been lied to. The independent woman is a full-time job that robs you of your essence. When God gave me the vision of The Southern Feminine Wife I wanted to encourage women to unlearn the concepts of society and to tap back into their natural essence. Femininity is a gift and once you align with this energy you will feel the abundance of it’s energy. You will feel aligned. You will feel inflow. This is because femininity is your natural birthright but this energy can only be cultivated in a certain environment. I noticed my femininity flourished once I felt protected and provided for.
Once I was able to secure the three basic levels of human needs, survival, security and love I was able to flourish into my femininity. So what is femininity? It is your soft unique power that you posses as a woman. It’s the softness of your voice, the grace in your walk, kindness and politeness, the willingness to forgive, resourcefulness, ahimsa, compassion, modesty, benevolence, mercy, nurturing, receiving, intuitive, cynical thinking, nature, earth, moon, allowing, creating, emotional, vulnerability, connection, creation, flow, desires, feeling, changing, beauty, collaboration, pleasure, vision, and experiencing .
Femininity is a energy, it is the complimentary energy of masculinity. So it brings so much joy to my heart to see women finally realizing their personal unique soft power. Nothing makes me happier than to see women enjoying their femininity and exploring the soft side of life. Embracing your femininity is a gift and once you start your journey even if you slip-up from time to time but you will ultimately find yourself drawn back to your true essence.
life gets to be easy xoxo
Alishia
-
Honolulu Hawaii
Last year when I was making my 2022 vision board, I wrote the caption ” Experiences over Materials. I also pinned a picture of Diamond Head onto my board. Little did I know that I would manifest a trip to Hawaii within less than 4 months. We will speak about the power of a visionboard on a later post but for now I would like to share my magical experience in Honolulu Hawaii.
Day 1:
My husband and I had a early flight from Memphis to Atlanta and then Atlanta to Hawaii the total trip to about 12 hours. It was my longest flight ever but so worth it. We arrived in Honolulu around 2pm Hawaiian time. I’ll never forget exiting the airport and seeing the beautiful volcano’s covered my a slight fog in the distance, there were palm tree’s everywhere and it felt like paradise. We caught a Uber to our Airbnb at the Waikiki Banyan and stayed in the beautiful Tiki Suite
Last year when I was making my 2022 vision board, I wrote the caption ” Experiences over Materials. I also pinned a picture of Diamond Head onto my board. Little did I know that I would manifest a trip to Hawaii within less than 4 months. We will speak about the power of a vision board on a later post but for now I would like to share my magical experience in Honolulu Hawaii.
Day 1:
My husband and I had a early flight from Memphis to Atlanta and then Atlanta to Hawaii the total trip to about 12 hours. It was my longest flight ever but so worth it. We arrived in Honolulu around 2pm Hawaiian time. I’ll never forget exiting the airport and seeing the beautiful volcano’s covered my a slight fog in the distance, there were palm tree’s everywhere and it felt like paradise. We caught a Uber to our Airbnb at the Waikiki Banyan and stayed in the beautiful Tiki Suite
I was so impressed with my husband’s choice to stay at the Tiki Suite. I say this because normally I plan the details of the trip but God asked me to lean back in my feminine energy and trust him to find something for us. My only recommendation was a balcony and he understood the assignment. The tiki suite is located downtown and we were literally two blocks from Waikiki beach. After getting settled into the suite we had dinner reservations that night as I was celebrating my birthday. I put on a very sexy red dress (per hubby’s request) and we were on our way to Morton’s Steakhouse. We started with the Waygu meatballs which was covered in a tomato type sauce, I tried the Waygu steak (which is so good) and my husband tried the Ribeye steak (it was huge) and he enjoyed it. We finished with Key Lime pie and it was delightful.
Day 2:
We headed to the infamous Waikiki beach and it was beautiful, the water was the prettiest blue I’d ever seen and the waves were perfect for those who enjoy surfing. I will say the beach was quite crowded but we throughly enjoyed ourselves. Later that afternoon we explored downtown, we had lunch at OMG Oahu Mexican Grill. I chose a chicken burrito and strawberry daiquiri and my husband had chicken nacho’s. The food was good but the meal was $80, for a chipotle type restaurant. Nevertheless we scurried over to the Ala Moana. We did a little shopping and discovered Ice Monster Hawaii, we experienced Mango Sorbet for the first time. This was some of the best sorbet I’d ever tasted to date. Absolutely delectable! We spend the rest of evening shopping in various of local shops and exploring downtown.
We woke-up early and hiked Diamond Head volcano, it was about an one hour climb to the top. The views from the top of Diamond Head were incredible and something that I will never forget. We hiked back down and stopped at a nearby food truck and had our first shaved ice and french fries. Next we ventured over to Lan Kai beach (which means heavenly sea) it was about a twenty minute drive from Waikiki. Lan Kai was absolutely beautiful. It felt like a hidden gem, the beach wasn’t crowded at all and had some of the finest sand I’d ever seen. There were little black pebbles scattered along the the shoreline and a two beautiful rocks in the distance which made a perfect backdrop for photo’s. I will say it was a bit cloudy and windy as there was a overcast. We left Lan Kai and went back to the suite to freshen up before heading the the Ala Moana mall for some shopping. If you are a fashionista Hawaii has a variety of stores to choose from. Next to Europe, Hawaii is the best place to purchase luxury items as you receive a cheaper tax on items purchased.
Day 4:
We spent most of the morning in our suite, enjoying the balcony. There was a local coffee shop Banyan Breeze that we throughly enjoyed. We purchased a few pastries and enjoyed time on our balcony. That afternoon I did some local shopping for souvenirs and we went back to Waikiki beach. Later that evening we experienced our first Luau at Germaine’s Luau, it was really entertaining and interactive. The provided complimentary refreshments and we had dinner. We learned so much about the Hawaiian culture and experience fire and luau dancers.
Day 5
Our final day in Hawaii was bittersweet. We had a late flight so we checked out the Tiki Suite and management was kind enough to keep our luggage. We headed over to Pearl Harbor and boarded the USS Missouri. This was our first time being aboard a battleship. There was so much history that we learned regarding the battleship itself and details from the attack. We paid our respects to the soldiers who risk their lives for our freedom. Afterwards we went back to Ala Moana mall to pick up some last minute items and departure Hawaii later that night.
Overall visiting Hawaii was a unforgettable experience that I will alway cherish deeply.
-
Sis you need new bra’s
As a woman finding the perfect fit can be a challenge when it comes to bra’s. I often search for bra’s that fit comfortably, while providing a hint of sexiness and affordability. I tend to find bra’s that are typically either very expensive but sexy and not even remotely comfortable or a bra that’s comfortable but ugly. So you can imagine how excited I was when HSIA reached out to me for a collaboration and review. I received the package and literally had the giggles like a child. I rushed into my home and tried on each bra and immediately fell in love. First and foremost, let’s touch on the price point. I was honestly shocked to find sexy, affordable, good quality bra’s. The avearage bra is about $29-39, I can purchase three bra’s from HSIA for the price of one Victoria Secret bra! HSIA has a wide variety of styles and sizes. They also provided me with a promo code Alysa15 for 15% off.
-
Modern Feminine Fashion
How to incorporate low end and high end fashion to build the ulimate feminine wardrobe
” A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.”
One of my secrets to buliding a wardrobe is thrifting. I’ve found so many little gems at thrift stores for a little of nothing. One of my favorite things to search for are blazers, dresses, unqiue and vintage jewelery. I enjoy the hunt of finding quality pieces for $2-5 on average. Sometines the pieces need tailoring or cleaning but often times I find brand new pieces. I then mix thoses pieces with my more higher end accessories such as a belt, purse or earrings to set it off. I also enjoy shopping at Zara a very fashion forward but affordable store. I find the quality to be about mid-range but the variety is endless. You can find pieces for the entire family and everything is on trend. Lastly Aritiza is new to me and I enjoyed shopping at their Honolulu location in the Ala Moana mall. The service was incredible and the quality of the clothing is very good. However, the prices are a about triple the price of Zara. So I find myself purchasing staples from Aritiza pieces that I can mix and match with anything in my current wardrobe.
Causal Day at the Office OOTD
Blazer: Goodwill
Shirt: Goodwill
Jeans: Walmart Time and Tru
Shoes: Zara: https://go.magik.ly/ml/1iio5/
Tote: Nordstroms: https://go.magik.ly/ml/1hu10/
Glasses: Seekee
Blue Miami OOTD
Dress: Zara Dress: https://go.magik.ly/ml/1hu0j/
Shoes: Goodwill
Bag: Rebecca Minkoff: https://go.magik.ly/ml/13599/
Glasses: Seeke
Aritiza Summer Hampton’s OOTD
Aritiza Shorts: https://go.magik.ly/ml/1hu0q/
Aritiza Tank: https://go.magik.ly/ml/1hsy0/
Rebecca Minkoff Purse: https://go.magik.ly/ml/13599/
Marc Fisher Sandals (bottega dupes) https://go.magik.ly/ml/1hu0t/I shared a detailed try-on video on my Youtube channel please be sure to stop by and say hi.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2IohxuO29mVZheUuOSjsxA xoxo Alishia
-
The Southern Feminine Wife
Welcome to my blog! It feels great to be back to blogging. I look forward to sharing more creative content to inspire you to embrace your feminine journey.
